I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
