just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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