The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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