Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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