out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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