On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
