Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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