Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
