Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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