Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Green mimosas i think yes
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My ass is underappreciated
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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