you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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