I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
