How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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