i don't like sucking hair
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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