Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
