i don't plan on having that self control this summer
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
