He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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