He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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