My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
