8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
