break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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