Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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