Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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