don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
