So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
