I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
