Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
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I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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