I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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