I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She needs sedatives and a leash
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
