I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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