Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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