Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
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High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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