An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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