I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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