Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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