I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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