So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
