we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
