I'm eating all of the evidence.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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