Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
