i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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