Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
