is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I had to cum in my sink.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
