Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Found the puke drawer
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
