No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
