If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
