I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
