I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
