Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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