I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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