We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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