I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
