If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize