What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
