they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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