Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
