Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You are the jesus of drinking
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
