it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
