PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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