JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You took a bar mat shot.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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