Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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