porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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