i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
