marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
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body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize