Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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