i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
