Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
