At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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