i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
